Homos in the Herb Garden

I am just reeling from so many things still!

-Nan Kempner dying (why oh why!?)
-The new issue of Vanity Fair with a horrendous Paris Hilton cover (sweetie we know you don't have tits, so just stop trying to squeeze them together to make cleavage).
-And the fact that there is a CONVICTED SEX OFFENDER living right next door to me!

I was going to post his info on this blog for all to see, but I don't want you all know where I live thank-you-very-much-but-no-thanks. I bet you who read this are a bunch of trick perverts anyhow! Seriously babies, I wish they would stop testing on animals, and start testing on prisoners who need their fucking ball sack snipped because they are sick-sick-sick. So, as if it isn't bad enough I live in the shifty gayborhood--I have this to deal with now.

Now don't get me wrong, I love most of my gayborhood friends, I just don't understand why the shifty ones need to hook-up in such disgusting places! From Cove down to the Lubrication Station (Edgewater Park to the rest of you) there are just way too many tricks happening in bushes, on front porches, in truck flat beds, in condo alleys and on picnic tables. Why can't you pervs just go do it in normal places like, oh I dunno, your apartment? The club bathroom or better yet the boiler room? I know, I know, many of these boys are in the closet and need to have some excitement dirty style while the wife thinks he is out smoking cigars with the boys. But babies please, get a Motel and STOP BUTT FUCKING IN MY HERB GARDEN!!! I swear do you know how many of my front yard hedges are trampled because of tricks walking around and hooking up with the cruisers that circle my block over and over? It freaks me out, and my whole yard is just ruined every weekend it seems. Really, how rude. Guess what babies EVERYONE is gay these days, so why don't you come out of the closet, light some candles, and get your freak on in a waterbed like the rest of us?