Planning on Moving
After furthur research I have found that I am fucking SURROUNDED BY PERVERTS! Convicted sex offenders on either side of me, and all up and down a nearby street. I know you are asking,
"But Miss Blistex, don't these people deserve to get a fresh start in life after serving their time?"
Uh, let's see....HELL NO! Are you trippin'? I hope they all get hit by a bus or shot, stabbed, castrated, eaten by a big ass dog, clobbered by a gang made of Amazonian warrior women. These are fucked up people who are just plain wrong wrong wrong. I found a women who lives in my mother's neighborhood, she went to prison for having sex with a 9 year old boy. Now granted that 9 year old probably thought it was fun and bragged to his friends even, but shit a 9 year old boy? Bitch what the hell is wrong with your sorry ass! At least wait for him to grow some goddam pubic hair!
So anyways...I'm trying to plan an exodus out of Cleveland but keep coming up with jack shit. My friends who moved here from Los Angeles and New York are all packing up possibly as well. Despite all the entrepreneurial rountables and such-and-such this town really does not embrace those ideas. I mean really, they embrace bullshit nonprofits but ignore what could really help the image of Cleveland. But there is no spirit here. Everyone is content to treat things like a hobby; or are apologetic "aw shucks" style; or are just not alive. My friend said, "I have never encountered the biggest lot of losers as I have in the city. No one tries, no one wants to be anything, and if they do they go somewhere else that will embrace them because this city is just not understanding or deserving". Hey can't argue with the man there. I was upset to find so many bands I like skip over this city, I mean that alone is a sign isn't it? A city that identifies itself with music and yet gets bypassed on a regular basis by large acts. A city this cheap should also be doing much better in the arts and economy overall. Though I guess pay rates haven't increased in Cleveland since the mid 1990's. So the solution? I'm doing some research into Philadelphia honey!
Other cities nixed from the list:
Miami: Gold toothed ghetto ass people wearing open shirts, and Jennifer Lopez.
Atlanta: Um, hello the south? I don't think so. Humidity is so not nice.
Boston: Expensive as hell, academics running wild, too many Irish people.
New York: Oh honey, dead dead dead. Noisey and crowded.
Detroit: What? Oh nevermind. That place looks like a war zone.
Chicago: Cold and surrounded by a ghetto.
Minneapolis: Too far north honey, I don't like being so close to Canada and they talk funny up there. Memphis: Ghetto Ghetto and more Ghetto.
Austin: Yuppified, and having to get snakes out of my pool in the summer doesn't sound fun.
Phoenix: Too many scorpions and not much of a nightlife.
Anywhere in New Mexico: Possible but not close enough to Europe or Japan for flight time.
Los Angeles: Wannabe actors pouring in by the minute? Don't forget mudslides & earthquakes.
San Francisco: Too expensive considering you are surrounded by hippies.
Portland: Rainy and not as cheap as you would think. Isolated too.
Seattle: Oh that is SO 1995, and let's all enter onto the freeway going 35mph why don't we? Idiots.
Ooh or I could move to Akron with all the bike paths and bike racks and other bike oriented ideas that Miss Ryan wants the city implement. Yes indeedy anything bike, trail or path related will bring the flock back in a pinch! http://www.rubberbuzz.com/2005/08/if-davie-g-can-do-it-so-can-i.html
"But Miss Blistex, don't these people deserve to get a fresh start in life after serving their time?"
Uh, let's see....HELL NO! Are you trippin'? I hope they all get hit by a bus or shot, stabbed, castrated, eaten by a big ass dog, clobbered by a gang made of Amazonian warrior women. These are fucked up people who are just plain wrong wrong wrong. I found a women who lives in my mother's neighborhood, she went to prison for having sex with a 9 year old boy. Now granted that 9 year old probably thought it was fun and bragged to his friends even, but shit a 9 year old boy? Bitch what the hell is wrong with your sorry ass! At least wait for him to grow some goddam pubic hair!
So anyways...I'm trying to plan an exodus out of Cleveland but keep coming up with jack shit. My friends who moved here from Los Angeles and New York are all packing up possibly as well. Despite all the entrepreneurial rountables and such-and-such this town really does not embrace those ideas. I mean really, they embrace bullshit nonprofits but ignore what could really help the image of Cleveland. But there is no spirit here. Everyone is content to treat things like a hobby; or are apologetic "aw shucks" style; or are just not alive. My friend said, "I have never encountered the biggest lot of losers as I have in the city. No one tries, no one wants to be anything, and if they do they go somewhere else that will embrace them because this city is just not understanding or deserving". Hey can't argue with the man there. I was upset to find so many bands I like skip over this city, I mean that alone is a sign isn't it? A city that identifies itself with music and yet gets bypassed on a regular basis by large acts. A city this cheap should also be doing much better in the arts and economy overall. Though I guess pay rates haven't increased in Cleveland since the mid 1990's. So the solution? I'm doing some research into Philadelphia honey!
Other cities nixed from the list:
Miami: Gold toothed ghetto ass people wearing open shirts, and Jennifer Lopez.
Atlanta: Um, hello the south? I don't think so. Humidity is so not nice.
Boston: Expensive as hell, academics running wild, too many Irish people.
New York: Oh honey, dead dead dead. Noisey and crowded.
Detroit: What? Oh nevermind. That place looks like a war zone.
Chicago: Cold and surrounded by a ghetto.
Minneapolis: Too far north honey, I don't like being so close to Canada and they talk funny up there. Memphis: Ghetto Ghetto and more Ghetto.
Austin: Yuppified, and having to get snakes out of my pool in the summer doesn't sound fun.
Phoenix: Too many scorpions and not much of a nightlife.
Anywhere in New Mexico: Possible but not close enough to Europe or Japan for flight time.
Los Angeles: Wannabe actors pouring in by the minute? Don't forget mudslides & earthquakes.
San Francisco: Too expensive considering you are surrounded by hippies.
Portland: Rainy and not as cheap as you would think. Isolated too.
Seattle: Oh that is SO 1995, and let's all enter onto the freeway going 35mph why don't we? Idiots.
Ooh or I could move to Akron with all the bike paths and bike racks and other bike oriented ideas that Miss Ryan wants the city implement. Yes indeedy anything bike, trail or path related will bring the flock back in a pinch! http://www.rubberbuzz.com/2005/08/if-davie-g-can-do-it-so-can-i.html
posted by Miss Blistex at 1:53 PM
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