Theory dictionary
This is all just getting too stupid and predictable. But alas, some time now before we wind down (and I think some of you know what I'm talking about).
In Halloween news, my son and my baby-daddy asked what he should be for this year. What? You didn't know I have a son? Well most people don't so I'm not surprised. You see, baby-daddy and I adopted the little runt when he was a cutey pie; now unfortunately he has turned into a very unattractive little boy and we really don't like keeping pictures around or having our friends actually "see" him unless the daylight hours are winding down. So anyways, I told the little man he was to be a dinning room table this year -- as in he will be underneath it during our party. So now he gets to pick out the table cloth, motherhood can be such a joy in these moments don't you think?
As a jumping off point from yesterday I thought I would give some of you the handy dandy art theory dictionary as compiled by the editor and author of Most Art Sucks and Coagula. With so many grad students and so-called critics immersing themselves in post-post-post modern theory-ish type thingamagiggers, this can always be helpful for being able to tell who is a turd steak.
Post Structuralism: Language is everything but means nothing
Marxism: If you build a wall they will stay
Deconstruction: Pretentious description of the act of analyzing
Semiotics: Every picture tells a story
Derrida: A smart Frenchman who was a jerk
Foucalt: A smart Frenchman who didn't use a condom
Baudrillard: A smart Frenchman who likes Las Vegas
Lacan: A smart Frenchman who hates Freud
Formalism: A boring new innovation is better than an exciting rehash
Essentialism: The space between your legs is more important than the space between your ears
Psychology: If you caught your parents fucking, you're fucked
Modernism: History ended not with a bang, but with a white cube
Post-Modernism: Monocrome paintings are boring
Pop Art: Cartoons are never boring
Kitch: Not only are cartoons never boring, they're collectable!
Signifier: Adjective
Signified: Noun
Quality: Taste
Activism: Desire to relive the 60's
Nihilism: Desire to relive the 70's
Narcissism: The desire of the talentless to have the fact ignored
Romaticism: Trust the artist, not the bad painting they left behind
Elitism: Trust-fund kids are the best judges of what matters
Hickeyism: Overweight chain smokers are the best judges of beauty
Academicism: Tenured profs are the best judges of what you need to know
Multiculturalism: Gimme some of that wall space white boy!
Classicism: Give dead Greeks all of the shelf space
Spiritualism: Aesthetics without taste
Sublime: The term aetheists use to describe Spiritualism
Cronyism: When successful people hire complete losers
Late Capitalism: What the sore losers insist on labeling the current era
There's more, I would like to add to these as well. But suddenly I just don't give a darn crap and want a sandwich.
In Halloween news, my son and my baby-daddy asked what he should be for this year. What? You didn't know I have a son? Well most people don't so I'm not surprised. You see, baby-daddy and I adopted the little runt when he was a cutey pie; now unfortunately he has turned into a very unattractive little boy and we really don't like keeping pictures around or having our friends actually "see" him unless the daylight hours are winding down. So anyways, I told the little man he was to be a dinning room table this year -- as in he will be underneath it during our party. So now he gets to pick out the table cloth, motherhood can be such a joy in these moments don't you think?
As a jumping off point from yesterday I thought I would give some of you the handy dandy art theory dictionary as compiled by the editor and author of Most Art Sucks and Coagula. With so many grad students and so-called critics immersing themselves in post-post-post modern theory-ish type thingamagiggers, this can always be helpful for being able to tell who is a turd steak.
Post Structuralism: Language is everything but means nothing
Marxism: If you build a wall they will stay
Deconstruction: Pretentious description of the act of analyzing
Semiotics: Every picture tells a story
Derrida: A smart Frenchman who was a jerk
Foucalt: A smart Frenchman who didn't use a condom
Baudrillard: A smart Frenchman who likes Las Vegas
Lacan: A smart Frenchman who hates Freud
Formalism: A boring new innovation is better than an exciting rehash
Essentialism: The space between your legs is more important than the space between your ears
Psychology: If you caught your parents fucking, you're fucked
Modernism: History ended not with a bang, but with a white cube
Post-Modernism: Monocrome paintings are boring
Pop Art: Cartoons are never boring
Kitch: Not only are cartoons never boring, they're collectable!
Signifier: Adjective
Signified: Noun
Quality: Taste
Activism: Desire to relive the 60's
Nihilism: Desire to relive the 70's
Narcissism: The desire of the talentless to have the fact ignored
Romaticism: Trust the artist, not the bad painting they left behind
Elitism: Trust-fund kids are the best judges of what matters
Hickeyism: Overweight chain smokers are the best judges of beauty
Academicism: Tenured profs are the best judges of what you need to know
Multiculturalism: Gimme some of that wall space white boy!
Classicism: Give dead Greeks all of the shelf space
Spiritualism: Aesthetics without taste
Sublime: The term aetheists use to describe Spiritualism
Cronyism: When successful people hire complete losers
Late Capitalism: What the sore losers insist on labeling the current era
There's more, I would like to add to these as well. But suddenly I just don't give a darn crap and want a sandwich.
posted by Miss Blistex at 12:34 PM
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